Why are we here

Where do you draw a line when it comes to giving in or giving it a bit more? What I mean is that you may put yourself in a position out of need and anxiousness and once you are there even if you hate it, should you try to convince yourself that you can make it good by your attitude or do you immediately try to find a escape route because you know staying there is going to slowly kill a youthful spark in you day after day. Lets apply it to a job position that you finally got and are able to just make enough to get through each month. You know what you do exercises no talents that you actually have except maybe a good work ethic and ability to shut your mouth about almost everything. On the other hand you know you have no way to pay the bills immediately without this job. You know you want to be able to do something more with your life then calculate your demise of retirement possibilities pay check to paycheck, but the fear of having nothing and no one stepping into help is REAL. Do you tell your spirit to take a back seat while your sell out worker persona takes the wheel? Do you train your gag reflex to be ignored by your body every time you have just finished shuckin and jivin with your boss about what a marvelous day it is and how you can't wait for the next opportunity to drive sales and become the brand? Or do you look for an escape route everyday to get the heck out and land where you would actually feel valued and worth a shared memory in life. Do you pursue your dream that makes everyone around you laugh and definitely not want to contribute to your success( most of the time cause no one gave a darn about their dreams). I know you have to have enough to exist, but what about enough to live. Existing is not living. You know you can offer more to the world and yourself then what minimum pay and hours and no exercise of your talents is allowing you to. A lot of us battle these questions and I don't know the ultimate answer for everyone, but I know I am reaching a point in life where I know if I sign into the complete company program and began trying to become the break room buff, I will eventually lose the part of me that takes chances, and wants to know what is behind door number 2. I don't want to start to forget to sing to my favorite song on the radio because I am still running down the checklist of my workday duties to make sure I did not forget to cross every T. I believe there is  way to find our writing on the wall of why we are here and do something about it. I believe we are made to be more then a resource to someone else's bottom line. I believe God gave us a spirit to individualize our destinies.

I recently was on the hunt for a job. Not a career, though I would love to be on a hunt for that, but a "those bills are coming again next month" job. I started with expectations of what I would like to do and where I might like to do it. It then took on this momentum of what I was willing to do that I wasn't to crazy about, then it hit rock bottom at just give me a job any job please. Oh and a real fulltime or part time job like they once were known to be. You know that lovely 20 hours or 40 hours a week life. What really hit me was the process of looking for a job as we know it today. First you are literally as good as the electronic process allows you to be. What I mean by this is there is no more getting your foot in the door with that great personality that took so many years to develop. Businesses don't want to see you anymore unless they have first deemed you worth their time through the application process. That's the next thriller....the electronic application process. I decided with a heart of determination that I would fill out 8 applications a day until I got hired. Once I started filling out applications I realized I had to eat drink sleep and remove myself from the computer everynow and then to be sane, and the way the companies have designed these applications today.....you are lucky to get through one application in 45 minutes. The first parts are what you would expect with personal information, work history, educational background and so forth, but the psychological tests or the personality quiz or whatever they want to call it in the end is a crime. It really is...or at least it should be. First you go through answering a bunch questions that everyone is obviously going to put the favorable answers on. Questions like "I think expressing your frustrations every now and then is healthy" then they ask do you strongly agree, strongly disagree or you don't know. Who in their right mind that wants to get hired is going to put they strongly agree with that statement! Most people will say I strongly disagree knowing they vent distraught injustice at least once a week. I once had to answer a question that asked me "What do you value more a happy customer or a job that values your personal life?"What kind of a question is that? Then I put a happy customer because I wanted any job so bad and I spent the rest of the night feeling like a cheap sell out that just compromised my dignity for a possible dollar.